5 Steps To Heal After A Loss
During our lives, it is common for us to suffer many losses. Healing after a loss is a lesson we must all learn sooner or later. Problems arise when we refuse to accept that loss is something inevitable in life, and also necessary for our growth.
When we suffer heavy losses, we put all our focus on what we have lost. We do not see the other side. We realize that what has been lost had a special value.
Experiencing a significant loss, such as the death of a loved one, a love that disappears, the end of a relationship, etc., leaves us in a state of helplessness and with a great void. We feel sadness, anger, fear and emotional ups and downs. It is a state of mourning that each person goes through in their own personal way.
Healing after a loss is a complex process because in order to return to our entirety we have to go through many peaks and valleys, as if we were on a roller coaster.
When we open up to acceptance, we suddenly dive into anxiety and misery. We take a step forward and then move backwards. And that’s how we heal; by knowing the whole process and without blocking ourselves.
Each person experiences loss in their own way, with their own rhythm. Denial is part of this process, and its purpose is to protect us from what we are not prepared to face.
Many people think they are cold and do not understand why they are not aware of their feelings when faced with a great loss. These feelings are stored because they involve a lot of pain, and can only be experienced when we are willing to deal with and confront them, which can take years.
This is common in children and adolescents who are not able to feel these strong emotions until they become adults and are prepared. That’s when it all comes down to it.
No one can tell us how to deal with a loss we have experienced. No matter how much we try to find the answers in others, it is only within ourselves that we can find the process of healing after a loss.
And this process requires its own time. It is never too slow or too fast; as long as we move forward in our lives and do not get stuck, we will be able to heal our wounds.
When we try to protect ourselves against new losses, we provoke them in an unconscious way. When we have suffered losses and are going through difficult times, we may want to protect ourselves from them. We protect ourselves by creating a shield that will prevent the suffering we have gone through before. This is not possible, to move away from what we do not want to lose is a loss in itself.
This is an important way to heal after a loss. We cannot avoid the pain and emotions that loss causes us. When we are prepared to face the loss, we will feel the related pain, and trying to avoid these feelings will only keep us in suffering. Loss means pain, it makes us authentic and sincere people while we learn to value things that really matter.
What really matters is not lost. We carry with us what we have experienced and felt. It has transformed us and made us who we are. This is why there is no logic in trying to avoid all experiences due to fear of loss. Because the only thing we take with us is what we feel.
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