If It’s A Crime To Be Different, I’ll Take The Punishment
Having the freedom to be yourself, to be different and authentic, should not be a bad thing. Being happy with or without a partner, having a good character, and enjoying a healthy dose of insanity sometimes should not be criticized. So if it’s a crime to be different, I’m happy to take the punishment.
It is said that in order to face life, one must tear down its walls. But if you have already overcome your fears and insecurities and there are other people shutting you in? One cage should not be different from another. Inner growth, which allows you to be free and authentic, means that you are strong psychologically and emotionally so that you can withstand obstacles in your environment.
Yves Pélicer, doctor and psychiatrist at Necker-Enfants Malade’s Hospital in Paris, is known for his books on psychiatry which are very easy to understand. She always defends the same principle: psychology should give us back the dignity of being different and unique. We will only find happiness when we let ourselves and others be who we really want to be.
But being different in a world where we are pressured to fit in is a personal challenge.
The complex adventure of being yourself
Most psychological approaches teach the value and need to be yourself. But it is necessary that we fine-tune this idea a little. Being oneself does not include qualities that depend on the circumstances. For example, if my partner leaves me, this does not mean that I am someone who does not deserve to be loved. If I do not have a job, I am not a failure.
Self-acceptance has nothing to do with these random incidents. Nor does it mean accepting what others think or expect. Being yourself means that you weave a beautiful web of your identity and essence that you wrap around yourself every day. It also means that you are faithful to your shadows and strengths and that you try to improve along the way.
But this process of constructing and integrating the self also involves sitting down and dedicating time to a specific goal: getting to know who you really are. This is not just a classic philosophical question; there is a vital aspect behind this.
Finding out who you are means that you discover if the life you live is in harmony with your identity. If I’m a positive, restless dreamer, then I can not be near someone who just throws dirt on my dreams.
Sometimes when you are aware of who you really are, you realize that nothing around you fits in with who you are…
To be different, free and happy
It is not easy to be different in a society that expects all women to be the same. We have said it from the beginning.
Today, women must play a role in all areas of their lives: perfection. Every woman is expected to be successful at work, but also to be a mother when that time comes. But just like any mother, she must be a super mom who can balance her job, home, partner, family and friends while having a perfect body.
But do not forget that she also has to worry about raising perfect children who can read and write at the age of five.
All of these things are good, and there are women who can achieve this. But behind this demanding list, there is an implicit norm that every woman should be the same. A woman without a partner is convicted. A woman who is happy with a few extra kilos is criticized for her laziness, because she does not take care of herself. A woman who is successful at work and does not want to be a mother will be seen as strange. But if she is a mother and breastfeeds in public, she will be criticized for this as well.
To be different is to have the courage to be yourself in each of your actions and decisions. What is considered “normal” is driven by stereotypes and expectations that others establish in their eagerness to control your life.
Being happy without being perfect in a world that always aspires to a false perfection is the healthiest thing you can do. There is nothing better than moving forward with the freedom to be yourself every day, and to break the chains that appear before you and that try to bind you.
