When You Have A Lot To Say But It’s Best To Be Quiet

Apart from love, no subject has been written about as much as words, for words and silence always seek a balance. A Chinese proverb reads “do not open your mouth unless you are sure that what you are going to say will improve the silence” . In other words, there are often times when it is best to be quiet, even if you have a lot to say.

It has happened to all of us: we know exactly at what moment we should end a conversation, but still continue and make everything end badly. We want to say so many things but do not think about the consequences, without being aware that it is better to just be quiet. If we really realized that we reveal the deepest parts of our personality and make judgments about ourselves when we speak and judge others, we probably would not let our tongue act without the approval of the brain.

Among friends, family and people we love, we are often not very careful about how we speak, and we let people know freely what we think. And although it may sound crude to say so, we can use the following saying in these situations: “where there is trust, there is disgust.”

The words we utter to the people closest to us are sometimes sharper than all knives, creating walls that are very difficult to tear down and hurting the people we truly love and respect. Although we sometimes feel a desire to speak , it is important to weigh the words and ask ourselves what we really want to say to the other person. If the words we want to say will bring negativity, perhaps it is best to be silent. We should always evaluate the consequences of our opinions and always use courtesy and kindness.

It is not always a matter of being silent and hiding what we are thinking, because we must not forget that what is not said verbally does not cease to exist. Encouraging words, those that come from another person’s heart, are those that are truly important. Speak only what is necessary, listen carefully and do not speak only for the sake of speaking when it is best to be quiet. Talking too much without thinking about or controlling what is being said can lead us to utter pure nonsense or even words that can hurt the other person.

Researchers at Harvard University conducted a study of brain activity during a series of tests that observed the honesty of a group of people. They discovered that honesty is more due to the absence of temptations than an active resistance to them. In neural terms, the results mean that the brain activity of honest people does not vary when faced with temptations (make money by cheating), while the brain activity of dishonest people is altered by temptations, even if they do not give in to them.

The study was published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences by Joshua Greene, a professor of psychology at Harvard University’s Faculty of Arts and Sciences. Greene explains that the results say that honesty is not due to an effort, but rather that one is predisposed to honesty in a spontaneous way. According to the researcher, this does not have to be true in all situations, but it was in the situation that was investigated.

On the other hand, researchers from the Autonomous University of Madrid and the University of Quebec have conducted an experiment to find out the reasons why people either lie or tell the truth in a given situation.

Until then, it was believed that we always told the truth if it suited us materially and that we would lie if it did not. But with this research, it has become clear that people are telling the truth even if it involves material costs. The question is why.

Because of this ambiguity, people now work with different scenarios, because on the one hand , people are considered sincere because they have assimilated this behavior and suffer from bad feelings if they do the opposite, such as guilt or shame, which results in a reluctance to lie. . This reluctance has to do with not wanting to create disagreement between a person’s image of himself and how he really behaves.

Other motivations for acting honestly have to do with altruism and conformity to what other people expect us to say, ie a desire not to disturb the other person’s expectations.