Managing Family Reunions: 5 Tips For Success

When the end of the year is only a few months away, it means a Christmas party with work, family gatherings and spending time with friends. Nothing can go wrong when you meet the family. But there are conflicts in every family and Christmas parties are unfortunately a good opportunity for them to come to the surface. Clearly, Christmas is a complicated time of year for many adults. If this is the case for you, do not worry – you are not alone. It may seem impossible to handle family reunions, but we’ll give you proof to the contrary!

Being able to handle family gatherings properly is an important skill

It is important to point out that conflicts are a part of family life. It is normal for your family members to make you feel bad at times. But it is clear that dangers arise when a conflict remains unresolved and escalates. So much so that everything can explode during Christmas Eve dinner or Christmas Day lunch. Does this sound familiar to you? If the answer is yes, we want to help you make sure that past circumstances do not take over and ruin your family reunions.

In this article, we have gathered five important tips for managing family reunions in the best way. The idea is that these strategies will help you be with people you have problems with (or have had problems with in the past). Not only that, if you follow these tips, you can even have fun, feel like partying and actively participate in the gathering. You can memorize all our advice and keep it in mind if things start to get stressful and you feel that a conflict is going on.

5 tips for handling family gatherings over the coming weekends

Avoid responding to provocations during family gatherings. If there is something to discuss, this is not the time.

When you have an unresolved issue with someone, it is tempting to bring it up at the first opportunity. It is understandable that you want to talk about things and get to a conclusion. This is why you can provoke without even realizing it in the company of a person with whom you have a conflict. Or even let yourself be provoked.

In this situation, it is important to identify the possible provocation as soon as possible. The goal is to redirect the conversation to a neutral topic. When you are on friendly ground, the excitement will subside. Family Christmas parties are definitely not the time to talk about sensitive topics.

2. Focus on those who are happy to have the family together. Do it for them!

In many families, there are some people, such as mom, dad, grandma or grandpa, who are especially happy to have the whole family together. The rest of the family agrees to attend family reunions in part to make them happy. So if you do not feel motivated to socialize, focus on making your gesture please someone you love.

3. Analyze and be honest with yourself: What is bothering you? Is there a solution?

When it bothers you to be with a certain person, you need to find out what is really going on. Can you change what bothers you? Does this person have a trait that bothers you because it is actually something you share? Answering these questions is fundamental to dealing with the emotions that arise during a conflict. Maybe the question concerns a family member’s personality trait that will not change. In that case, you must be the one working with your tolerance. You can also try to avoid circumstances where this particular property may occur.

However you look at it , a family reunion is not the right time to try to change someone. It does not matter how good your intentions are, or how much the person needs to change. It is not a good idea to tell people that they smoke too much or should eat more. You have the whole year to do it, so do not ruin the party with comments that can hurt someone. Try to hold back, even if you think your comments would be justified.

4. Consult with yourself and consider whether it is really worth taking conflicts during your family reunions

When you feel angry, try to take a few minutes to consult with yourself and reflect. Is it really worth starting a quarrel now? When we say “consult with yourself” we mean that you use self-instructions to your advantage. Self-instructions are instructions that you give yourself.

In other words, the words you say to yourself act as orders to the brain. So if you tell yourself to be calm and peaceful, it will be easier for you to handle the situation and get through the meeting successfully.

5. The last step in managing family reunions is to avoid violating your boundaries. Get out of the situation before it’s too late.

Avoidance is not always a negative management strategy. In addition, it is actually the best strategy when you are dealing with a complicated situation and it is neither the right time nor place to discuss it. Avoidance is the best option if you already know that you will get angry, lose control and make other people uncomfortable. Trying to control your anger when your patience is pouring in is not a realistic goal.

It is also important to set boundaries for your family members before Christmas. Every family works differently. You can be very independent of each other, or maybe you are close to each other. If you are independent, the boundaries between the lives of each family member are set and respected. That way, the job is already done when it’s time for family reunions.

On the other hand, if you are very close to each other, the boundaries may not be set. In that case, it is a good idea to put them on before you meet. Family gatherings are not the best time to clarify your personal needs. It is not an ideal opportunity to try to ward off those family members who tend to become overly involved in your life.

Regardless, it is always a good idea to set boundaries with family members. Be clear about what you want to share. It is also important to communicate when you want advice and when you do not want it. Remember that you have the right to make your own decisions, even if those decisions are contrary to what most of your family members think or believe.

Finally…

Take advantage of the time off to enjoy the positive side of family reunions. Focus your energy and attention on the positive. Above all, remember to be patient and not get into conflicts. Remember that your attitude during the holidays can have a significant impact on the well-being of others.