Say Goodbye: The Most Difficult Moment Before Death
Something that will happen in every person’s life is death. Although this is something we are aware of, we live in a bubble. We somehow believe that we will always be there and that we will not have to say goodbye.
The fact is that it does not always turn out the way we intended. Sometimes life does not want to cooperate with us. We ourselves or someone close to us may suffer from a deadly disease without cure. Maybe a close friend is injured in an accident.
Of all the moments of life, the most difficult and complicated is the one when we know that the moment of death is near and that we must say goodbye. The cause of death then becomes less important in the context.
You can really get a shock when you realize that the inevitable moment is approaching.
How do you prepare to say goodbye?
In today’s society , we rarely take time for ourselves. Perhaps this is the reason why meditation techniques have become so popular. Deep down, we want to be able to take time for ourselves.
When you get to the moment when you have to say goodbye to someone close to you, you need to be able to take time for yourself. Avoid anything that can distract you and focus on yourself. Give yourself time to be sad, angry, frustrated…
Go through all the stages you need and finally accept that this person will no longer be by your side. What do you feel? What would you like to say to this person? Should you say everything you feel?
Saying goodbye is very painful, but you have the opportunity to influence certain circumstances.
It is important to allow yourself to cry, get annoyed and accept the change that will take place. You should only open up to the other person after you have had the opportunity to meditate on the situation.
It may be that the person who is dying is in greater need of talking than listening. Let the person express what he or she wants to say and show that you are there for him or her. Only give hope if this is really something that will be able to be incorporated.
You may want the other person to be able to feel calm, but you should not lie. It is not good to create false hopes for miracles. If there is still a small hope of recovery, you should talk about this without exaggerating.
Help the dying person to accept their situation
A very important part of this difficult situation is to make sure that the person understands their situation. You can ask the following questions:
- Do you understand your diagnosis?
- What do you worry about the most?
- Do you want to make any changes?
- How do you want to spend your time from now on?
- Who do you want to be able to make decisions for you when this becomes necessary?
This conversation is certainly not easy, but it is important to listen to the person who is about to die.
It is important to let the person know that they care about his or her views and reflections on life.
If you can not help the person go through the process, just be there. It is important that loved ones are there to keep the person company in these cases.
The important thing about this conversation
Most of us often try to avoid this conversation. We try to convince ourselves that there is more time. That is not always the case.
Things can happen very quickly. It is common for those who want to avoid this conversation to feel uncomfortable or ashamed of what they have to say.
If you feel afraid to talk about this, start by listening and give the other person time to talk. You will then piece by piece get clear to you whether you want to say something or not.
Some of these conversations may take a few minutes while others may last forever. Do not worry, you do not have to say something you do not want.
