Helpful Strategies For Dealing With A Family Trauma

Family trauma is a condition in which an entire family is exposed to an unexpected negative situation. In fact, it overwhelms family members and they can not cope.

One of the most important characteristics of trauma is that it marks a turning point. In other words, it changes the previous life path. In many cases, a completely new psychological state can actually develop.

Several facts or circumstances can shape the trauma. For example, a violent event, a serious or long-term substance abuse problem, a sudden death, a worrying condition in a family member, etc.

Trauma always contains a sudden and surprising element. This is what overwhelms people and affects their ability to deal with it. Most families have experienced some form of trauma at some point.

How a family trauma can manifest itself

Often it is the story and thoughts about the circumstances that caused a trauma that ultimately define it. Therefore, its development depends to some extent on the size of the wound it caused.

In these situations, stress, anxiety and depression often take hold of us. This is usually reflected in how family members talk about the trauma.

Each individual experiences a family trauma in their own unique way. This can be due to many variables. Among other things, they can be the individual’s age, gender, psychological strength, its role within the family and the role the person played in the trauma itself.

It is common for everyone in the family to experience anxiety and sadness in the face of trauma. In addition, everyone handles it in their own individual way.

Family trauma, as well as individual trauma, can cause guilt and shame. Guilt arises because an individual feels that he or she should have somehow been able to avoid the circumstances that caused the trauma. Shame usually occurs in the victim who has experienced trauma. This is because knowing that others did not suffer in the same way makes the person feel inferior.

Individual and collective emotions

Although family members experience family trauma together, they also suffer individually. Sometimes there is a similarity between the two types of suffering. At other times not. There are different patterns. However, it may be possible for family members to mix their feelings.

A typical situation is a suicide. Of course, this type of experience affects everyone. If the victim is a young person, the mother, father and siblings will all experience it in their own unique way. Similarly, if the victim is a mother or father, the person’s spouse, children and parents will be affected in their individual ways. In fact, some may even choose to never discuss the subject again, while others want to talk about it.

In fact, it is extremely common for one person to want to talk about the event while others just want to cry. In addition, each person tends to remember things in their own way. However, the family will usually eventually establish some form of “official truth” regarding the trauma itself.

What to do?

The effects of a family trauma can be extremely long lasting. It can even reach generations that have not yet been born. In fact, if left untreated, they can give rise to taboos, prejudices and obstacles. For this reason, as with other types of trauma, it is best to address the situation. People are often resistant to this, but it is the only way out.

They should all seek professional help individually. Sometimes some family members may want collective help. However, this should not preclude individual treatment. This is because by dealing with the problem as a family, it can sometimes be difficult to take into account the individual feelings of certain family members.

Obviously, it is extremely helpful to talk about the problem together. But not everyone will necessarily be ready for it at the same time, and their feelings must be respected. Still, eventually everyone has to talk about it because silence and oppression never work. In the long run, it causes more problems.