Turning Your Doubts To Eliminate Negativity

Negative thoughts are seldom useful. Rather, they fill you with doubt and worry. Here, psychologist Marcelo Ceberio explains a useful technique for getting rid of negative thinking.
To turn your doubts around to eliminate negativity

There is still no definitive answer as to why we humans show a tendency to think negatively and catastrophically about ourselves and those around us. If positive thinking is better for us, then why do negative thought patterns persist? Today we will talk about this phenomenon and present a useful technology that can change the way you think. Are you ready to turn around your doubts?

Think of all your strengths, remember everything you like about yourself. All your skills, abilities and valuable attributes. Now think about the fact that, instead of emphasizing that side of yourself, you often focus on your weaknesses, character flaws, and the skills you lack. Most of us do this, which leads to a sense of worthlessness.

The cognitive creation we call thought

Some of the behaviors that develop around these emotions, what cognitive psychologists call “cognitive distortion”, relate to each other despite some subtle differences. What is important is the degree of negativity and devaluation that prevails in cognition, emotions and actions.

Many of these ideas first creep up on you and then spread like wildfire. They creep into your mind and take over.

  • For example, this applies to thoughts associated with helplessness, such as “I will not be able to do it”, “I do not have the ability” or “this is not something for me, it is simply too much”.
  • Beliefs about what other people think, as if you can read their minds. For example, “that person is staring at me. He probably does not like my dress “or” these people are talking about me “.
  • There are also people who let a small negative event or comment remove all the good that has already happened in a situation.
  • People who compulsively ponder what they could or should have done about something that has already happened.
  • Thoughts that predict a negative or catastrophic future.
  • People who continually compare themselves with others and those who count out the good things that happen to them, as if they were only the fruit of the arbitrary nature of life.

Basically, many beliefs lead to self-deprecation. They also often lead us to see shortcomings and unhappy aspects in ourselves and in others.

The thing is, this catastrophic kind of cognition does not end there. Instead, it quickly and inevitably translates into action and the resulting emotions. From there a sentimental and unhappy self-fulfilling prophecy is born.

But…

Going through life obsessed with what others think of you, and imagining that everyone is against you, is not healthy. It is no wonder that negative ruminants are distrustful and sometimes paranoid.

The word “but” is one of the keywords in their vocabulary. This language formula applies to most things they say. “But, it’s a shame to…”, or “even if…”. All of these interruptions interrupt a self-affirmation. It’s a real trap.

“But” is a rigid word that breaks up a positive sentence. Let’s take a look at some examples. “She is a really good person and usually does things well, but when she gets angry it is awful.” Or “we had great fun over the weekend, we did not even quarrel, but she has too strong a personality and is quite rude.”

Negative and catastrophic people are usually too pressured to see things in a positive light. When they try to say something positive, they usually end up contradicting it at the end of the sentence. This description completely downplays what they started by saying.

It is important to remember that this “but” can also be directed at yourself. For example, “I’m glad I did my homework quickly, but I always do it at the last minute.” Or “I study so hard, but it’s a shame I still can’t speak the language fluently.”

Breaking the habit of using “but” in this way is difficult because it always directs your thoughts towards negativity. It’s like an unstoppable machine that makes everything repeat itself. Negative momentum continues. Negative thinking has a great inherent inertia, which makes a complete reversal difficult to perform. Difficult, but not impossible.

To turn your doubts

One of the most effective ways to do this is to do it step by step and use the technology to turn around your doubts. It probably sounds easier said than done, but it can be extremely useful. The magic of it is that it does not require you to try to crush your negative thoughts. On the contrary, you can let them flow, release them and pronounce them aloud. The difference here is that once you have said your negative thoughts, you use the word “but” to control the idea in a positive way.

This mechanism is similar to what you have already done, but it turns your negativity into positivity. Here are some examples that illustrate what we are talking about:

  • “My bronchitis was horrible and I could not work for several days, BUT it let me rest. It was a mini vacation I deserved. ”
  • “I should have realized she was a bad person. I fell for her scam in the end and lost some money, BUT it’s good that I did not risk more of my money. This teaches me to be more careful in the future. ”
  • “Everyone is staring at me because I have this floral shirt. They will probably say that I look ridiculous, BUT it’s great to dress just the way I want. I am free. Let them stare, I do not care. I have to focus on myself and worry less about what others think. ”

What can I learn from this?

The technique of reversing your doubts means that you will find something you can learn in all situations. It’s like asking yourself “what is this thought trying to teach me, what message is this situation trying to communicate?”. Or “what can I learn from this scenario?”

This simple technique triggers a kind of negotiation between underestimating yourself and encouraging feelings of self-worth. It is difficult to suddenly remove a habit that you have had for a long time, so reversing your doubts is a step you can take to realize that not everything is a disaster. With the technology of reversing your doubts, you see that things are not always negative. Instead, it is about how you perceive them.

Now it’s your turn! Try to come up with three positive “buts” and see how it affects you!

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