Life As An Elderly Person: Loneliness In A Retirement Home

Every time I visit a retirement home, I get emotions that run counter to each other. On the one hand, I feel incredible joy that these institutions exist to take care of the elderly. Every person who works for them is admirable.

On the other hand , I feel sad. When I went to college, I practiced in a nursing home. Something that will forever be etched in my memory is that the workers there told me that some elderly people had not been visited for several months.

From time to time, I visit my uncle in the nursing home where he lives. The home is very well maintained, and so is he. They also give him plenty of food. Even if he is not very old, he can not take care of himself. He has no partner and no children.

Taking him home was the best decision for the whole family. He is happy there and has even gained a couple of kilos. The employees say that he is behaving well. I like to go there to have a cup of coffee with him. He gets happy and greets me by saying: “What’s up, Fighter !?” But most of the time he mixes me up with my brother.

The sad corridors of nursing homes

I have to walk through half the building to get to my uncle’s room. I take the elevator to get to his floor and surprise him. To get to his room, I have to walk through a corridor where several elderly people are always in wheelchairs. It’s like they can ‘t even move. When I pass by, I always greet them with a big smile. Some look at me and smile back, others look back without smiles, some do not even notice that I am there.

Some look so sad and depressed  that I can not help but wonder what they are thinking and what their lives looked like before they moved here. Mostly I wonder if they ever imagined that the immobile would end up in a wheelchair, overwhelmed by illness or life itself.

During my internship, I remember meeting an old man who shared a room with a woman, and he could only laugh and scream. The man seemed quite violent; his Alzheimer’s was so far advanced  that he could barely speak.

One day I decided to interact with him. I sat down next to him and began to ask about his life. I got him to tell me where he was born, and after that I got more out of him. One day he even smiled at me. It came as a surprise.

They just want affection

During one of the days of my internship, I walked through the hallway and heard him scream. I went to his room and found that two employees were trying to get him up so he could swim. However, the man could not stop shaking.

I went into the room,  and when he saw me he completely relaxed. That was the key I had been looking for. Behind his expressionless face and submerged cognitive abilities was a person who only needed affection.

Receiving love and companionship is so important to these people. In this regard, Gea Sijpkes – Head of the Stichting Woon- en Zorgcentrum Humanitas Deventer in the Netherlands – has started a project. In 2012, she decided to provide free housing to students in a nursing home in exchange for spending only 30 hours a month with the elderly patients.

Souls who long to connect with others

Both in the old people’s home when I went through my internship and in what my uncle lives in, I have been able to observe that most older people feel very lonely. The people who work at these institutions have a lot to do and cannot offer the support that is needed.

Furthermore, I am deeply saddened  by the many elderly people who receive few or no visits. Behind them all is a soul that longs to connect with a person. The loneliness devours them slowly but surely.

I feel that society has taught us that only functioning things are worth taking care of. I can not understand the fact that so many families only leave their elderly in retirement homes when they feel they can no longer contribute anything.

Worst of all, they then almost never visit them. Older people have a story that is worth listening to. They play just as much a role as younger people. We must not abandon anyone just because he is old.

Undoubtedly, retirement homes are excellent alternatives in many cases. This article just wants to highlight the loneliness and abandonment that many seniors experience. Unfortunately, many adults treat them as if they were a burden, and decide to leave them at home and then forget about them.

The excellent work in nursing homes

Due to hectic schedules and other responsibilities, many families are unable to care for their elderly when they are no longer self-sufficient. In these cases, retirement homes are an excellent option. However, it is important to  remember to visit them often. We all need love, regardless of age.

Many older people do not feel bad because they live in these homes; however, they can wither away when their loved ones do not take the time to see them regularly.

The excellent work that many of these institutions do is something we should always be grateful for. Without them, many families would have to take drastic measures to make their lives work.

In short, we need to start thinking about our elderly a little more. You do not have to constantly sit by their side, but just remember to give them some of their time. It is forbidden to forget that they took care of us when we were younger. Let’s pay back all the services they rendered us.