Coincidence Or Cause?

For days I have had to write this. I want, if I may, to reflect on my own thoughts and share them with you. My purpose is to share these reflections to awaken something within you, dear readers.

If you have come here in search of an answer, or at least to find an interpretation, I will tell you in advance that I have left one end open so that you can come to your own conclusions.

Here comes a question:

Does everything happen by chance? Or does everything happen for a reason? So, does it happen because of the movements we generate ourselves?

My story of chance and causality

Before yesterday morning I was sitting in front of an empty page waiting for my hands and my head to slide to the work, but nothing happened. I had only a vague idea in my head of what I wanted to convey, and after five minutes I had decided to leave it for later.

Maybe it was because I was tired or not very inspired to write anything, so I went out to clear my head. This was what I did, and the change of environment proved to be helpful.

Hours later, now more determined and eager, I returned and sat down in front of the paper as a challenge. But nothing. It was impossible.

After ten minutes, I felt defeated again, so again I left the desk looking for entertainment in the form of something to read, especially to stop thinking about my inability to write this article.

So I turned to one of my favorite books: Blue World by Albert Espinosa. I randomly opened a page that ended with this quote: “And there I was, looking into the darkness, waiting for daylight.”

What a coincidence! The quote described exactly how empty I felt. Was the world sending me signs?

I closed the book and returned to my workload.

Inspired by more ideas on how to structure my work – that was at least what I thought – I kept my pen steady to write the first line. I wrote “ chance or cause? “ – and I felt better. As if I came across the barrier of emptiness with this complex issue.

And then my inspiration ran out, or rather my desire and patience ran out.

After a few minutes of searching for another coincidence that could make me start writing again, I desperately stood up, cooked dinner and took a shower to “freshen up my ideas”.

But I was too tired and thought it was best to stop trying, so I went to bed. Tomorrow will be a better day. A blank page.

Early in the morning I woke up with the highest gear in. I ate breakfast and sat down in front of what in recent days has become my “enemy”: the blank paper.

With the feeling that I was stuck in an endless circle, I went back to the same process of frustration from the previous days that made me doubt my ability to write this article.

Maybe it was not a coincidence, but something in me that caused it? Maybe it was me who postponed what seemed impossible?

The truth is, I could not even sit on the chair for five minutes. In many cases, inspiration does not come by itself, but must be sought.

I could have written a draft, found information on the subject or directly accepted that I should move on to another subject in the hope of being able to link it to this. But I was swept away by hopelessness and frustration, which in turn led me to think that I was incapable, when in fact it had only been minutes and I had not even tried.

Now I am sitting here writing these last words, which by chance (or for a reason?) Has led me to the most important question: Was I afraid to write what I was thinking? Or was it not safe to share these thoughts with you?

There are only two sure things in this text:

The first is that I accidentally found the following quote when I opened the book from yesterday on a random page: “Unresolved issues are unacceptable fears. “

The second is that a thought of chance led me to another. I have been the master of my words and my emotions.

And I returned to turn the pages.

“The world is the largest courtyard there is.”