Can You Start Over Without Hurting Others?

Every year, thousands of people choose to change their lives, leave home or distance themselves from their family – to start over . Others question whether they should do so because of their responsibilities, fears of the unknown or the existential void.

What is the motivation for disappearing? How do these people rebuild their lives and how do they cut ties with their past ? What are the consequences of neglecting the people around them?

The first thought of ” leaving everything ” and ” starting over ” may seem very attractive to some, but the truth is that rebuilding a full life with completely new conditions is extremely difficult.

Deciding on such a radical change without having a base to start over will only increase our sense of being on the run and cause us to repeat patterns of behavior that have already led us to unhappiness in the past.

The most common reasons why people tend to make the decision to cut all ties with their past and start over are:

• Fear of commitment.
• Too much responsibility (acquired or imposed).
• A feeling of living a meaningless life.
• Not being comfortable with themselves.
• Traumatic events.
• Family difficulties.
• Economic crises.
• To give feedback to themselves.
• Living in dysfunctional conditions.
• Searching for excitement.
• A desire to advance in the career.
• To take control of their lives.
• To seek anonymity and free themselves from labels.

To make a change without leaving everything

An alternative with less impact but greater chance of stability is to make a big life change without breaking up with everything.

Most individuals have the same desire to break free from everything, but choose a less drastic change that does not affect themselves and their environment as deeply.

They rely on the same motivations to make a radical change, but believe that this should not mean that they leave their work and family environment.

They start exploring new sources of motivation and innovation in their environment by trying different activities, meeting new people and not staying in the same places as before.

In the workplace, they are looking for promotions, a change of sector or the opportunity to increase their geographical freedom of movement. If this is not possible, they can choose to change jobs or employers, but stay in the same industry.

In the face of emotional difficulties, you can choose to seek professional help on an individual basis as well as couple or family therapy.

The way your life changes affects your immediate surroundings

Everyone has the right to change their lives if they are not satisfied. But it is important to think about the feelings of the people who are part of your family, your social circle and your work life.

For people who are suddenly abandoned without explanation , the disappearance of a loved one can be a traumatic event. They may not question the departure itself, but they begin to question themselves with a very strong sense of guilt and anxiety. They cannot go through the grieving process of this separation with wisdom because they feel this guilt.

To change in a way that involves abandoning loved ones, without explanation or time to assimilate and understand, therefore constitutes a double punishment: by the person who abandons and by the person who is abandoned.

Therefore, you should try to do as little damage as possible, even if you think your breakup and your departure are justified.