Depression In A Relationship: When Love Becomes Clingy

Depression in a relationship occurs when one or both parties suffer from depression or show depressive symptoms. In such situations, both the relationship itself and the parties’ feelings take on a special character. This means that the couple has a tendency to develop the relationship in a rather peculiar way.

One question that may seem cold, but which one should still ask, is whether this feeling that has arisen in the middle of a depression can really be said to be love. The truth is that this is rarely the case. And if you can call it love, it’s never a good form of love. To love and be loved always requires a certain balance.

But just because relationships between depressed people may not be an expression of the great love, does not mean that they are less intense. In fact, it is often the opposite, in that these couples usually experience extremely strong emotions. In addition, the depressed partner usually has the feeling that he or she has come to terms with his or her mood problems. But in fact, there are more problems lurking around the corner.

Love as a cure for depression

In depression, you experience an inner loneliness, as well as a feeling of missing something. No matter what this means from a psychological point of view, it is symbolically the love that is missing. Among other things, you lack love for yourself and the environment, life and work.

If one ignores the symbolic aspect and focuses on the purely physical, then it is clear that love changes brain chemistry. In fact, a physiological connection can be established by a person in love activating neurotransmitters. This means that the person experiences an increased well-being.

And if you combine these two elements , you come to a rather problematic conclusion. From a chemical perspective, love is a kind of “drug” that cures depression. And at the same time, from a psychological point of view, it is something that satisfies the hunger for love. In this way one reaches a particularly dubious conclusion, namely that love is the answer to everything.

Depression in a relationship: a selfish goal?

Depression in a relationship usually reflects an emotionally needy or chemically unbalanced person who finds someone who causes this depressed person to be completely changed. And in the initial stages of the relationship, love causes a much-needed cocktail of neurotransmitters to be triggered in the person’s brain. This makes the person feel emotionally satisfied.

What happens in a relationship affects both parties. In these special cases, however,  the depressed individual can take advantage of the relationship to feel better about himself. If the individual assumes such, to some extent, selfish position, then it is not really an expression of true love. In addition, this individual will probably not think that the subsequent phase of the relationship is as harmonious as the initial phase.

Therefore , the partner sooner or later ceases to be a source of comfort and support. In addition to this, the partner is not just a lifeless object or a pill, but a person. The result is that the partner begins to give way during the stress. This is when the problems become noticeable in the relationship. The depressed person may begin by making demands that turn into appeals for the partner to return to their previous role. In fact, the person who is depressed wants the partner to become the person who previously helped him (or her) deal with the unpleasant feelings.

Depression in a relationship: a lack of love

Love is the ingredient that is missing in a relationship between depressed people. It’s not just about not being loved, but also about not being able to give love back. In addition, the depressed person does not have the ability to let go of his partner, nor the strength to free himself from him. For the person in question has no opportunity to reach this stage without first loving himself.

A person who is depressed must first sort out his feelings in order to share his life with another human being. The biggest risk in these situations is that the person who is depressed imagines that someone else will save him. In fact, he often sees his partner as a savior who will eventually come to his rescue.

What makes the situation dangerous is that the whole scenario is based on a lie, which becomes obvious at some point. And far from being useful, it only leads to more pain. In fact, a depressed person may perceive it as a total failure. Yes, perhaps it is enough to convince the person that life consists only of darkness. And the person may realize that this darkness rules his whole life.

Prolonged relationships between depressed people do not work. If both parties are depressed, one of them may well take on the role of “savior”. But sooner or later, the relationship will break down.

You do not have to be perfect to experience true love. However, conditions must be nurtured and they should never be built on the basis of needs experiences or deprivation.