Do Not Be Fooled By The Blindfold Of Love
One way or another, you will take off the blindfold of love and use it to make a bow in your hair. When you do this, your face will look more beautiful and your eyes freer, more hopeful and more awake. You will discover reality as you deserve to see it, without covering it.
Ortega and Gasset once said that “love is like a form of transient foolhardiness, a state of mental angostura and mental angina” . The acclaimed philosophers, in their eagerness to find an explanation for human emotions, did not see the logic of falling in love and the blindfold of love that often catches us in a sweet imagination. But even though it is difficult to grasp these concepts, love actually has logic and meaning.
Dr. Robert Epstein of Harvard University said that when we live a part of our lives with the blindfold of love in front of our eyes, whether it is in response to an affectionate relationship or some other personal situation, it shapes our psychological and emotional growth. But we should not regret this period, the energy invested in it, the dreams that developed or the emotions we experienced. It would be to shift some of ourselves.
In reality , love is not blind. Sometimes we actually see more than we should. We see mirages and distorted images that do not correspond to reality. Seeing life through the heart can have a price, but it’s just another thing you learn in life. And you will never learn if you deny yourself the chance to love, to try, to experiment, to take these leaps without a parachute. Sometimes you get away whole, and other times you get a little broken.
Sometimes we take off the blindfold of love. But instead of tying it in a bow and moving on with our heads held high and our eyes wide open, we make the same mistake as before. That is, we love blindly, trust in the dark, grope around and leave our hearts in other people’s pockets. Why do we do that? Why do we become recidivists when it comes to captivating and painful love?
People who are always taken hostage by harmful love, who are hit by the same stone over and over again, suffer from a very common ailment: lack of self-love. The world is not arranged for you to always meet “bad people”, who are selfish and abuse your emotional balance. Only when you have a clear understanding of what you really need and do not need, will you become more selective, careful and receptive. Because once you know what you want, you will find what you deserve.
According to a study published by the UK’s Office for National Statistics, people stated that they found what they always wanted after they turned 30 and 40. At this stage, people feel more secure in themselves and able to integrate their past relationships with their current peace. , where nothing is lacking and nothing is in abundance.
At that point, people are looking for more than just love and passion. They are looking for love, self-realization with a partner and a common goal to invest in, mature and honest.
Evolutionary biologists say that the goal of this emotional chaos – which puts love’s blindfold on us, captures us, increases our heart rate and throws us into a dark but passionate labyrinth – is reproduction. According to this view, we are genetically predisposed to do this when we fall in love. Our mirror neurons connect us to the other person, and at that moment, fireworks explode in our brains – fireworks of dopamine, testosterone, vasopressin, oxytocin and serotonin, all of which increase attraction.
In the same way , neurologists also point out that passion puts important processes on hold, such as discernment, logical analysis and even our judgment. The mind develops tunnel vision to focus on what is important: the emotional partner.
Erich Fromm said with great certainty that some people are dependent on being in love. They enjoy the phase described above, in the blind, bubbly and almost pain-relieving love, like a real Church island. But when the maturation phase comes and they have to work on their differences, accept the other person’s shortcomings and work towards a common project, they run away.
Just as the same author said in The Art of Loving, true wisdom and emotional fulfillment are not found in falling in love, but in true love. When we fall in love, we enjoy the deep connection, the intimacy made of joy and the most intense of passions.
All this is positive, there is no doubt about it, but the true adventure comes afterwards, with the manufactured love that has a special amount of attention and listening, which is aware of the other person’s shortcomings and dark sides. Mature people are those who open their eyes and keep their hearts protected. They see things as they are and choose to fight for them, like a bright lighthouse of love – a refuge where they can both rebuild themselves together.
If you still have not found one, there is no incitement. Just weave your sorrows into your hair, tie them tightly and look at the world with the assurance that you will eventually find what you really deserve.
