Easy-going People: Anger As A Form Of Communication

Relieved people are addicted to constant anger. Hitting the table, slamming doors, shouting and even tantrums where everything is thrown into the wall… These people do not know how to communicate without raising their voices. They lose their temper quickly and you can not say no to them. Usually a weak person hides behind this behavior, and anger is only a defense mechanism.

We have all lost our temper at some point. We know how it feels when anger takes control. Almost without knowing what is happening, we explode in the most inappropriate and tactless way. The most important thing about these experiences is that they become important and helpful homework in self-knowledge. We learn, whether we like it or not, how important it is to be determined. Especially when it comes to dealing with complicated situations that put our emotional maturity at the forefront.

On the other hand, there is one crucial aspect that is important to consider. Nowadays, we do not really understand anger. However, it is best to avoid irritable people in our daily lives, for our own and our emotional health.

Nothing is more important than understanding. If we take a look at psychology, we will understand that  behind every angry child, a family member with a bad temper and that boss who gives in to frustration, there is someone who has not learned to express himself in any other way. Someone who does not know how to handle their emotions. They do not know what to do with all this explosive anger or where the negativity comes from.

The French have a very good word for this type of passive aggressive behavior. They use the word “sous-entendu” for people who use anger as communication. It roughly means “that which is implied” or “that which is below”. What under the wolf’s skin makes him use such devastating emotional intensity? The answer could not be simpler: there is another wolf, a wounded wolf.

What are the characteristics of easily irritated people?

• Excessive fear. People who react with anger tend to have a lot of fear. These are the people who became afraid of the smallest thing when they were children. They responded to any signal with fear and dismay. As they matured, this resistance to anything beyond their control turned into anger. Anger is thus nothing more than a defense mechanism that they use as a method of reaction to everything and everyone.

• Anger in response to all negative emotions. A person with this personality type may not recognize if it is sadness, disappointment, fear, restlessness, surprise or shame. All these feelings are translated and expressed in the same way: through anger.
• Anger as a culminating problem. When a feeling is not expressed in any way, when it is misunderstood and not dealt with, it accumulates. Often irritable people carry decades of unresolved frustrations within them. Because of this, the most important substances act as triggers for the anger stored inside them.
• Anger and paranoia. This relationship is as problematic as it is remarkable. Relieved people are marked by fear and emotions that they do not understand. This anger deep within the irritable person creates a paranoid behavior. Everything is a threat to them, they do not trust anyone, they think that others are there to hurt them or to make fun of them. This creates a very difficult situation.

Easy-going people do not have a high quality of life. This is a problem that from a clinical point of view should not be ignored. Studies also show  that these people suffer to a greater extent from heart problems, respiratory problems, poorer immune systems…  Anger can also create insurmountable distances to people we love.

Because of this, these people  often have what is called misguided anger. They may be angry at someone or something but project it on someone who does not deserve it, such as their partner or children. It is important to give them alternatives and strategies so that they can understand that anger is not an acceptable way to communicate. Instead, determination is something that allows you to handle situations in a better way.

What strategies can help us?

• We must understand what anger is and what its function is. Basically, it is a response that our brain sends out when we have to escape danger. It is a purely biological and physiological manifestation.
• The second step is to learn to identify their feelings and understand what motivates them. Is it I feel sad? What triggered it? And if I experience shame, what caused it?
• Respiratory techniques. One way to deal with anger and rage that affects the body is to teach the mind to relax. Breathe and concentrate on the tense muscles and the increasing heart rate. Use consciousness to cause this tension to dissolve and unwind. It is only when you have calmed down that you succeed in thinking and reacting in a better way.
• Replace anger with determination. One of the most important goals for easily irritated people is to learn to communicate in a determined and straightforward way. Instead of using anger as a form of communication, they should work on using straightforward communication. 

In conclusion, we want to highlight one last aspect. Sometimes  an irritable person uses not only verbal violence but often also physical violence which becomes a recurring problem. Do not hesitate to intervene in these situations. Take action if you are a victim of such violence and seek help if you are the perpetrator.