I Will Not Let Sadness Destroy Who I Am

Today I woke up and felt sad. Sometimes I do not know if it is due to anxiety or disappointment due to everything that is happening around me. I do not know, but I know that nowadays I feel that I am letting sadness destroy who I am. Letting those feelings cling to you is considered a crime in a society that demands that you always be happy.

However, I can see that there is something beyond this sadness. That’s me! It’s me who refuses to let go of sadness. Only I know if that feeling prevents me from being myself. If what I feel does not allow me to see who I am, what I can control and what I really want in life.

But I will not let sadness ruin my essence and who I am. I will not follow what the anxiety wants me to do. In fact, sadness only exists because I exist. It can therefore not be stronger than me. I will continue to fight, even if the sadness clings to my mind. I will listen to it sometimes, to hear if it has anything important to say to me. If it does not have it, I will just leave it at that. I am the one who has the true strength.

I’m not like a game with fixed results. I am a board where the black pieces coexist with the white ones. They are fleeting emotions that I sometimes cling to as if they controlled everything I do. However, my identity always wins in the long run. These sad feelings often help me to learn something new. I build up in my loneliness and in my silence. I listen to myself. Sometimes I have to feel this way to understand things and to develop and not let sadness destroy who I am.

I will not be able to decide on something when I am sad, but I will save the things that this feeling teaches me and instead act when I feel a little braver. Sadness has taught me so many valuable things that I do not want to get rid of.

I want it to rise within me. I want to keep it and give it its rightful place as long as I live. I do not want my emotions to run over. All my feelings exist because they come from me. I am important to them, I am the reason they exist, and they make me aware of my own existence.

I will just wait to see what happens and what this sadness will result in, if I will hang on or if I will fall. Sadness is a special time where I can really understand how I feel.

When I experience sadness as something natural, creativity flows from every part of me. The bigger the pain, the bigger I get too, because I now finally feel that my feelings help me instead of helping other people’s expectations.

My perceptions are my compass. Everything else is just things I find along the way. I will meet people who confuse sadness with naivety, honesty with rudeness and sadness with weakness. None of this will stop me from achieving my goals, which in turn is a reflection of my values.

Every day I take another step towards achieving this and not let sadness ruin who I am. Some days the sadness prevents me from getting anywhere. Other days it will be less difficult. And other days I will go too fast and not learn much.

However, there came a day when I became aware that this feeling can sometimes improve my life. This sadness grew out of roots and gave me a momentum to water them, take care of them and let them grow. And from this delicate mixture of sadness and joy grew a beautiful garden.