Not Being Able To Breastfeed: The Feeling Of Guilt That Follows

There are guidelines that women should follow from the moment they discover they are pregnant. But following these guidelines means making a lot of very difficult decisions. There is a lot that women have to think about when they become mothers; it is a new and exciting world. One of the big decisions: whether to breastfeed or not. Not to mention the worry of not being able to breastfeed even if you want to.

Every woman has her own reasons for choosing to breastfeed or give milk substitutes. On the one hand, we have women who are breastfeeding, and on the other hand, women who cannot or do not want to do so.

We are not trying to start a debate on breast milk versus compensation. Instead, the goal of this article is to talk about the guilt that new mothers feel over not being able to breastfeed, for whatever reason. We are talking about mothers who would very much like to breastfeed, but who can not.

Feeling guilty about not being able to breastfeed

There are various medical reasons that support the decision not to breastfeed. For example, if a woman has certain diseases, low milk production and painful mastitis, among others. These situations have important psychological effects because two powerful ideas end up in conflict with each other. These are:

• The innate need a mother has to feed her child
• The inability to do it naturally

If you translate this into real life, you will see situations of total frustration. You have the baby crying from hunger, and the desperate mother is trying everything to feed her baby. This is a case of breastfeeding that simply does not work, for some reason.

One day a mother told me that she was scared every time she had to breastfeed her son. She produced a lot of milk, but she had superficial injuries that prevented good sucking. The baby had a hard time getting a good hold, and she also had trouble using a breast pump.

Her suffering and pain were so intense that she once asked herself, “But why do I have to feed you?” Her nipples were cracked, bleeding and constantly burning. Even her shirt rubbed against them was painful. Despite these difficulties, many mothers feel attacked if they do not want to continue. A midwife even said to her, “Okay, so you’ve already tired of it…”

When is it time to give up breastfeeding?

Is it really necessary? In my opinion, no. The stress and frustration that a mother in this situation transfers to her baby is worse than depriving it of the benefits associated with breast milk.

During the first months of a child’s life, feeding time is a time when bands are formed. It is a moment of attachment that has emotional benefits for both the mother and the baby. But if it involves pain, it can have the opposite effect.

If a mother ends up here and decides to stop breastfeeding, the next decision is to choose as good a milk substitute as possible. This option is completely safe and does not pose a risk to the child. A pediatrician is the best person to give parents advice in this situation.

Breastfeeding is an option, not an obligation

It is true that breastfeeding promotes emotional bonding between a mother and her child. However, research shows that the lack of breastfeeding does not prevent the band from forming.

You know that something is wrong in a society where a woman feels condemned as a failure because she cannot breastfeed. And even worse, that others make her feel that way. The message they should receive is: “There is nothing wrong with you, the fact that you are important is happy so that you can transfer your peace to your child.”

Regardless, no one should attack a woman for her decision as long as the child is safe. Mothers should support each other regardless of the decision when it comes to breastfeeding. Each woman is in her own unique situation.

To the women I do not know; you really should not feel bad because you choose to bottle feed. I promise you that your experience as a mother will not get worse. You will not be an inferior mother. You will give your child everything he needs and will be able to offer all the emotional support that the child needs when it’s time to eat.