Self-esteem And Emotional Dependence
Humans are social beings. We like to make others happy and share things with each other. But can the need for recognition be harmful? Yes – it’s actually one of the reasons we become dependent on others. One way to look at it is by looking at the connection between self-esteem and emotional dependence.
Do you feel the need to be all right or just the ones that are really important to you? Who are the important people in your life? Do they have to approve absolutely everything you do? We invite you to ask these questions and then try to answer them.
It’s one thing to know what you want to do and what you want your loved ones to approve of, but quite another to completely feel that something is not worth doing if the whole world does not love you for it. That is a subtle but significant difference. Keep reading to learn more about self-esteem and emotional dependence, and how they can affect your well-being!
Emotionally dependent people need affection, attention and recognition from others to unhealthy levels. They have an irrational fear of loneliness and abandonment, which makes them more submissive in their interpersonal relationships.
They also have a strong desire for exclusivity and say that they can not imagine a life without their partner and similar things.
Thus , they exhibit a persistent pattern of emotional needs that they cannot satisfy themselves. Instead, they try to fill them by establishing inappropriate ties with others. In other words, they develop parasitic and asymmetric relationships, and justify their actions by claiming that they exist to maintain the relationship.
And that’s not all. They long for protection and affection so intensely that they completely lose themselves in the relationship in their desire to maintain it, regardless of the actual quality of the relationship. They establish intense and unstable bands instead of healthy varieties. Of course, we all want to be loved, but we would not do absolutely everything to achieve it, right?
The problem with being too dependent on others emotionally is that if the person does not get the disproportionate attention and affection he demands, he begins to irrationally doubt his own worth and how much others appreciate him. This negatively affects his feelings and self-esteem.
He begins to feel rejected, denied and abandoned. The resulting sadness is very intense, which can lead to a vicious circle of emotional emptiness, chronic dissatisfaction and eventually depression.
And not only that, because the fear of being alone makes him try to do everything to avoid loneliness, which increases the symptoms of anxiety. When he expects to be alone, he can become extremely nervous and throw himself into toxic relationships.
The connection between self-esteem and emotional dependence is that lack of the former leads to the latter. These people think of themselves negatively, and again this leads to a greater need for support and affection. They depend on others to feel good about themselves.
The only person you will spend your whole life with is yourself. Therefore , your well-being should not depend on the recognition of others, but your own. This means that the first person you should try to be comfortable with your actions is yourself.
But what can you do to love yourself more? A simple exercise is to do something every day that makes you feel good, both physically and psychologically. It may require a little effort initially because most of us are not used to pampering ourselves. Over time, however, you will cultivate positive emotions for yourself.
In this way, you will prevent yourself from falling victim to pathological emotional addiction. So get started and love yourself!
Photos by Rebecca Matthews, Adam Jang and Hope House Press.
