Single Life Is My Reality, For Better Or Worse

We should pay attention to the acclaimed Petronius, who said ” You can get married or to be single, but you will regret it anyway”. It does not matter what you do, because you will always fail. Or maybe we are always looking for what we do not have? The thing is, single life is a reality for many.

But how we really are tends to be expressed through our social behavior. Even though we are excellent actors, our relationships with others can describe us just as we are to someone who knows how to interpret the signs.

In the social world we live in , more and more people are choosing to be single. Nevertheless, it is not always a choice. Instead, it is a reality, because they have not managed to meet someone to form a couple with. There are also other people who are indifferent to this. We can go on and on about all the motivations that exist when it comes to having a partner or not, even though a few years ago it was unthinkable.

The thing is, through our lives, we meet lots of different people. But every day, the choice to be single becomes more socially acceptable. At least you are not seen as rejected if you do not find a partner,  which was the case before.

That is why the psychologist and sociologist Arturo Torres has embarked on the difficult task of producing a list of different types of singles.

This classification is unofficial but interesting to look at. Who knows, maybe you will find a reflection of your own social reality.

Torres begins by talking about independent singles. These people value their lives without the chains they think they would suffer if they had a partner. For them, time and space are too valuable. Therefore, they flee from intense commitment, because they see it as a limiting factor.

This group includes people who can not even imagine being in a relationship. They are completely self-sufficient and need a high level of insulation. Their natural state is loneliness, but not in a negative way. They simply have no interest in sharing their world with others.

In this case, Torres refers to people who, despite being independent and self-sufficient, would prefer to have a partner. Therefore, they do not feel isolated, but wish they could share and abandon their lonely lifestyle. This often happens because they are unaccustomed to being social or because of their poor ability to learn new habits.

In this group, the psychologist describes people who long for a relationship, but are incapable of looking for one. Perhaps because of their low self-esteem, their customs or their lack of social skills, they do not see themselves as capable of being attractive.

However, these people can work towards changing their mentality and their thoughts because they feel unhappy and miserable. They find themselves in a situation they do not want to be in, but in which they condemn themselves.

A fifth group includes the existential singles. They are characterized by their pessimism, which is why they do not believe in relationships. These people tend to have a cold and impartial view of the world. Therefore , they actually disconnect themselves from intimate feelings.

Torres establishes another group he calls ideological singles. They are very rare and are people who establish their own red lines to get to know others. Therefore , they tend to systematically dismiss most of the available candidates. They can be considered very demanding, and at extreme levels it can lead to situations of anxiety and great pressure.

In this section we find singles looking for a relationship. They are clear with the fact that they want to be with someone in the short and medium term. Therefore, they analyze their opportunities and try to find candidates. Therefore, they are in a state of transition: they have ended a relationship and will probably start a new one soon.

Finally, Arturo Torres talks about single life from experience. These are people who flee from being in relationships because previous romantic experiences have been negative. Therefore, most of them produce a speech where they can squeeze in all their memories and where the reasons for their situation are reflected.

Traumatic memories create a kind of almost irrational rejection of the thought of becoming a couple. This can actually end up producing a philophobia (the phobia of romantic relationships).

We live in a world where we tend to put a label on everything in order to understand it better. That is why it is not surprising that we identify single life in accordance with its terms and concrete details. Although it is an unofficial classification, it seems like a fairly complete compilation.

Therefore, if we look back or observe our current situation, we may be able to see ourselves reflected in one or more of these groups. It’s happened to me, but you?