When A Farewell Is To Be Done Without
It’s over. Real life is not a happy love movie that the whole world is talking about, nor is it that book where relationships last forever: eternal love, inseparable friendship, families united to the end… in real life is love, in all its aspects , not always enough, and a farewell is often part of the plot.
The difficulty of saying goodbye is when there is no longer room for a possible return; all that is left are empty holes between two or more people. Sometimes even a farewell comes as a fact of life. In other words , it is complicated to say goodbye, not the act itself to utter the word, but to learn that this farewell means that one must manage without and continue forward.
We have been told many times that life is like a roller coaster and that we must adapt to the valleys and peaks that come with it. On the other hand, we are often convinced that a happy life is one where things last forever.
In this contradiction we find harm. We feel vulnerable when we discover that our truth is continually modified, that happiness is not constant, and that sooner or later we are bound to lose so that we can continue to win.
People who come can also go, just as we ourselves can come and go. And when they or we go, those are the things they taught us and we taught them what is left, for better or for worse. We must let go of what is no longer here, accept and learn to continue living with the part they left with us and which makes us who we are.
Saying goodbye is one of the most difficult moments we will ever go through because it suggests many things that make us strangers to ourselves and make us lose ourselves. Saying goodbye suggests releasing something we do not want to be free and that we want to keep.
Saying goodbye means that you want to say something you can not say and that you have not said before, to do what you could not do with others and to hug what you have not hugged; after all, a farewell is to experience everything we have not managed to experience and which we will always miss.
In the face of all this, we are left with the strength, the sacrifice and the courage we all possess, even if we do not believe it. We can all look to the future, no matter how dark it may be, and have the courage to confront grief, because that is the only way to let life know that we are ready to be happy again.
Sometimes we do not even have time to say goodbye : One of the facts of life is that someone we have loved a lot must go, even if he continues to be with us. Other times we say goodbye before we realize it: No one is more vulnerable to believing in something false than the one who wants the lie to be true, as Jorge Bucay said.
A farewell test, as we said at the beginning, is to see ourselves as happy after saying “goodbye”. When this happens, we will have undergone a whole process of slow inner healing, of searching for what we were, want and can be for ourselves.
A farewell actually comes when we look at the past with this person and see ourselves as better thanks to him. We have grown because everything we went through was good until we said goodbye. We have grown because the person broke us and we managed to put the pieces back. We have grown because we realized that life is only logical when we continue to want to live it.
